In memory of a less than expressive "speak like a pirate day"... I hearby submit:
"But this one I quote:
Brobst says he can't help it: when the Spirit moves upon him, he clamps one eye shut and his voice becomes gravelly and menacing. On a recent Sunday, he prophesied, "Avast ye, mateys! Hear the word from our Cap'n: No fear have ye of storms and scallywags, says ye? Argh! But I be seein' your true hearts. For I see below quarterdecks, says I. Ye be tremblin' in the face of scurvy dogs. But pay them no heed. For I be preparin' to pour down plenty o' booty upon ye. So be of cheer, me hearties! Ye be loved of the Cap'n."
The people of the church by now are accustomed to it, though first-time visitors often giggle."
Shamelessly stolen from http://yeoleimposter.blogspot.com/.