Those freakin' cops!
So a cop pulled me over tonight because I pulled a U-turn from the middle lane at a flashing red traffic light. It's not like I was crazy or anything. The other side had bad traffic, so I thought the U-turn would save me time. There were no cars remotely near the intersection, and even if they were, they would have to stop anyhow. I hope that cop feels good that he's one number closer to meeting his quota for the night; I'm f-ing pissed.
F-ck cops. Oh, and more: f-ck moderate drinking. I was actually on my way home from hanging out with my friends at the pub, so I had only one beer knowing I needed to get home all safe and sound. Screw that. If I just got wasted and then walked to my friend's house for the night like last time, I wouldn't have had that problem with the cops. Cheaper to spend money on a bunch of alcohol than to spend it on a moving violation ticket.
Why not f-ck life as well?
posted by MalaBOOYAH @ 20.3.05
4 comments
4 Comments:
Life sucks, I agree.
Right now I can't help but think of all the work that I have to do and how freaking stupid it is.
I've been reasoning it out. I figure the ultimate aim of my life is to be happy, and to glorify God, and that these are the same thing.
First, there is no personal benefit to the magnitude of work that I have to do in respect to the cost that it is taking from me. When you can't sleep, can't see your girlfriend, can't spend a moment alone thinking, reflecting, or relaxing, you've given up life. I'm not happy now, and it's not promising happiness later, is it? Why will a degree make me happy? Because it will give me wisdom? But, wisdom is something you have to go and find, not have given to you. College is an aid, but what I'm doing now isn't likely worth the cost.
So, I figure, why do it if it's not for me, right? It must be for someone else.
For my family? In the future, I will be called to support a family. A college degree may help me do that. But what is that seeking, really? A certain level of material well being? What is material well being worth? What level of material well being do we really need to support a happy family? I suspect that it's not very much, or the poor wouldn't be very blessed. I am sure that I can make a way for myself without a college degree and still live life well enough.
So, it's not for those close to me.
What about God? Well, that's all contingent on how God wants to use me, but of that I have no clue. I used to think that He might want to use me in history, but lately I just don't see that panning out very clearly. There's a place for Christian historians, but I'm just not a very good Christian historian. So I am just not sure that's what I'm supposed to do. And why am I expending so much time and effort and life into something that I don't know God wants me to do? Why am I spending time doing anything if I don't know what God wants me to do?
So, though I accept that my life is designed to serve God, there's no obvious way that I can see what I'm doing now benefiting his Kingdom. (not that it benefits Him at all!)
So I'm pretty turned off to life right now, myself. I'm depressed and angry because either I've gotten myself into a rediculously stupid situation, or God's put me there and I can't understand it.
Good on you for being moderate, anyway, Lem. You can't judge the worth of ethical actions by material consequences. You did right.
I've been feeling that way for a while. I'm still in school only because it's less of a drain on my life than it is on yours.
It's difficult to see how it will help me in the future, but since the cost is low I'm making the gamble. Perhaps somehow later I will be glad that I got a degree that now seems worthless, and if not, it wasn't a huge waste.
Although you still have your Torrey class, so I can see more value in your continuing than mine.
Hmm.. a very good point to bring up.
I've been on my merry wandering way through life and it hasn't been so merry generally. Sometimes it is. Not the majority though, I'd think. As to "Why put in all the effort anyway?" I could give the Calvin and Hobbes answer, "It builds character." And that's true and all... although character isn't really what God is about since he went and spent time with tax collectors and sinners who knew they were bad and needed grace. The people who had the finest character were the Pharisees who did everything right. (I know, I know.. their inward character was off.yeah) So.. there are a couple of proverbs that have been a peace to me. Both state that God directs a man's path though the man plans his way. So.. my path as chaotic and absurd as it might be.. and sometimes without meaning to ME, is guided by God. He directs it. So is everyone elses paths. As I look into the future and see myself.. . .. the heck if I know where.. then I just say, "I'll do my part as God has given me and He'll do his part and direct my path where it needs to be." Not really a easy way to go, but is more peaceful, methinks.
Sucks about that illegal turn Lem. Good about the moderation though (echo jon).
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